Let's be realistic, between meals, rides and transportation to and from the parks, there was never going to be enough time for good naps and baby recuperation. Somewhere in my mind I must have known this. But, again, being the Disney fanatic that I am, I quieted that little voice and listened to the one that said, "Oh, Drew must do this and Drew must do that. Even though he won't remember, we'll have the memories (and the pictures!) and it will be SO worth it."
By day 2, with an aching back from wearing Drew in the carrier for rides and naps, aching feet from trying to make it to each reservation, to the expo, and multiple trips from our room to the general store, I knew I was in trouble for the race. Mix in an almost 2 hour wait for our heat at the kids races, with a 5 1/2 month old during what should have been nap time, and I finally let in that little voice. I knew I couldn't do it all and decided it was time to surrender.
So, I did not run the Enchanted 10K. Instead, I surrendered. I surrendered to being a new mama on a weeklong vacation, filled with interrupted naps, some rough nights, and a body that felt like it had been hit by a truck. I surrendered to the fact that, while training for this race, I felt like the run was keeping me true to my individual self, but being in Disney world, my biggest pull was to be true to my mama self, which meant skipping the run. I surrendered to this merging with joy and a deeper love for Drew, when I thought my heart was already filled to the brim.
At first, it was hard to surrender. I felt guilty for not running. I had told SO many people I would be running and I felt like I was letting them down. But, I realized I did not feel like skipping the race was letting myself down. Resisting this pull to surrender felt like letting myself down. I knew what I needed and if I ignored it, I knew I (as well as my family) would suffer. And, it was this realization that helped me let go. And, I'm so glad I did.
I slept in Saturday morning (as much as one can with a 5 1/2 month old). Drew got 2 fantastic naps before we hit the parks. Ben got to the gym and some time for himself for the first time the whole trip. We had a relaxing, wonderful day and I was present (physically and mentally) for all of it. I knew I had made the right choice.
The ironic part? Now that we're back, I'm more motivated than ever to get back to running. I'm excited for the TOT 10 miler this October sans baby Drew (although I'm sure I'll miss him like CRAZY), and, while I'll always love running at Disney, I'm excited to find more local races, where it will be easier to balance race day with a regular baby day!