A few weeks ago, Ben and I went back to the fertility center, where we still have one frozen embryo, to find out about trying for #2. I had been feeling like I wanted to wait for a while, to enjoy my time with Drew and having my body back to myself for a bit. But, due to the fact that Drew is a rockstar, that feeling slowly began to shift toward readiness, so that by the time we went for our appointment, moving forward sounded like a good idea.
Upon comparing our schedule with theirs, we decided on a late October transfer date. This was late enough for me to complete the TOT without worry about dealing with pregnancy (although I will need to self-administer an IM shot the night of the race...), but soon enough that, should it take us a long time again to carry a healthy pregnancy, we'll be prepared (as much as one can be) for that.
Even though, physically, nothing has changed right now, mentally and emotionally there has been a shift. I had been feeling really motivated to push myself physically and excited about all of the progress with my running and yoga practice. Now as I find myself preparing for another cycle and (hopefully) another pregnancy, I find that I'm naturally starting to back off a bit, I'm moving into self-nurture mode, opting for relaxing walks on sunny days and shorter runs.
As anyone who has gone through fertility treatments knows, there's so much of this time that is "in-between." There is a struggle to be where you are, while preparing for where you're going. Even though our transfer date is at the end of October, I'll soon start testing and hormones for the cycle. I'll already be surrendering myself to a pregnancy I have yet to start. And, while on one hand training during this time can be sanity-saving. It can also be stressful and difficult.
My goals now are to do the best that I can, to always have compassion for myself, to challenge myself when I'm up for it and hold back when I'm not. I'd like to continue running this time around through treatment and hopefully, through pregnancy. But, the only way to do that will be to take it one day at a time. So, that's what I plan to do!
Oh, and a training update! My last big run was 7 miles at a 12:00/mi pace. I've also been averaging 1-2 30 minute runs per week as well. I'm hoping to go for 8 miles either this weekend or sometime next week...stay tuned!